A Thousand Moments with You
by MeadowFlowers
Summary: I never forgot about Newt, he was my best friend after all. He was the only thing I really remembered, but the next time I saw him something was wrong. He broke his leg over the summer, something uncharacteristic of him. Slowly Newt avoided me, just as I discovered that I love him. Even if he is distant to me now, I'll always have my memories of him, right? Updates on Tuesdays.
1. Chapter I

**Here is a multi chapter Newtmas fanfiction. New chapters will be added each Tuesday until all the chapters have been written. I hope you enjoy this high school AU.**

 *****Trigger warnings for future chapters: Mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm.*****

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There was a blinding light. That was the first thing I seen, and in that moment, it was the only thing I could remember. I tried to focus myself on what was going on. I was laying down in a bed, and my head hurt like hell. I couldn't remember anything, I had no idea how I ended up in this place. I could hear people, they were nearby, just out of my line of sight. Screaming and putting up a fight seemed like the only logical thing to do. That only landed me a sharp stabbing pain in the arm. Everything went black again.

I had no idea how long I was out for, but my hearing seemed to come back sooner than my vision. Two people were in the room talking.

"Thomas should be coming round soon. We need to make sure he doesn't pull the same trick as last time. He been such and handful this pass while. Him and of course the girl as well." I had heard that voice before, but from where. I just knew they were talking about me. Me and some other girl.

"Of course Dr. Paige. I will make sure they are behaving themselves, before they are able to see him." Dr. Paige. Dr. Ava Paige. That name I had heard before.

"And when Thomas does wake up, bring his friend in. That way they will both be forced to at in a civil manner. At least for the time being." Dr. Paige said. There was no reply, but the footsteps stopped long enough to know the message had been heard.

Dr. Paige walked near my bed. "I don't know why you never seem to behave yourself. You always seem to get yourself into some kind of trouble." Her silence was filled by the humming of machines. Soon I fell asleep wondering about that boy I would see.

I few things came back to me. At least where I was, and who those people were. I was at a boarding school, and I had no family. Well no blood family. I would certainly call most of the people here that I grew up with my brothers, and Teresa. Teresa was in her own category of family. We were raised together, at the same youth home. She was different from everyone else, because we understood each other.

She was the girl they were talking about earlier. My partner in crime, who somehow always got less of a punishment than me, not that I really cared. We did cause a lot of issues, but none were super recent. I probably got hit in our most recent scheme.

Other names floated in and out of my mind. Alby, Minho, Zart. The boys I had shared a place with every school year for as long as I cared to remember. The ones that pulled me into their world of chaos.

Rachel, Aris. The two kids from summer camp. They were like us, orphans. Camp for all the children who had nowhere else to be. Somehow we found each other years ago when we were just children.

When I came around again, there was a boy in the room with me. He wasn't really watching me at all. His attention was absorbed into a book, but his hand was resting on the edge of the hospital bed. It took me only a moment to register who it was. Someone I was always happy to see.

"Newt-" It was barely even audible, but he heard it. Somehow a single word held all the meaning I had to share. Every thought and emotion he understood.

He dropped the book and in seconds I was his only focus. "Tommy, you're alright? How are you feeling?" His voice was filled with concern, but I couldn't reply to his questions. My eyes took focus on his leg.

"What happened Newt?" I gestured to his cast. He was by far the carefullest and most civil person I know. It was shocking to see that he had gotten injured. If anyone would have gotten hurt, it should have been Minho or I... which wasn't too far off. I did manage to get hurt after all.

"That's no important right now. What's important is you are okay." I couldn't tell if he wanted to hug or kill me in this moment. "You and Teresa were of doing God knows what. Someone found you outside unconscious, and Teresa was missing. I don't care if it's September, it's bloody cold out you idiot. If anything happened... Dr. Paige is not too happy with either of you."

"Great, now that I got the run down on what stupid thing I not surprisingly did, what happened to you?"

"Got chased by a dog down a steep pathway. Took a nasty fall and busted up my leg. Trust me Tommy, I'm alright."

"How's everyone else?"

"Everyone is trying to kill each other. Didn't take them too long this year, did it?"

The door to the room opened, and Dr. Paige entered the room. I felt Newt's hand grabbed the sheets of the bed tighter.

"It's good to see you awake Thomas. Newt, could you please excuse yourself for a moment. I would like to have a word alone with him. Regarding certain matters." Her voice was stern.

I knew Newt did not want to leave my side for anything in the world, but I also knew he wasn't stupid. Being taken away by force would only result in him not being allowed to see me for the rest of the day, or longer. It really depended on how long I was stuck in here.

"I'll see you soon, Tommy." With that he was gone and Dr. Paige took his place next to my bed. I was almost certain that if the walls had not been made out of glass, Newt would have been waiting just outside the door.

I had never liked Dr. Paige, of course she never liked me. But seeing as she was kinda in charge of the school I attend, I had to act civil. I had a feeling that this conversation would not be a pleasant one.

"How are you feeling Thomas?" Her voice sounded almost sympathetic.

"I'm feeling alright, given the fact I was knocked out and in the hospital."

"I'm going to assume Newt had said something to you about your current situation I presume?" I did not want her to bring Newt into this. He was not getting into trouble because of my stupidity.

"Just I was unconscious outside. Then I landed myself here." The actual events leading up to coming to the hospital faded in my mind. I had no memory of the event.

"I'm sure you are wondering why Newt had to leave the room before I could talk." I nodded and Dr. Paige continued, "See there is a reason for that, I didn't want him to hear everything I am about to tell you."

"What do you mean, Dr. Paige?" I couldn't read her expression.

"What Newt may or may not have told you about why you are here. Whatever the case it was a lie."


	2. I remember the day we met

**Here you are. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

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The first time I met everyone from the glade, or as the teachers say, our dorm rooms, I was ten. Teresa and I had been separated so I was alone. Dr Paige had shown me around the school. It was almost entirely deserted because none of the kids chose to be up that early in the morning. Once I had seen most of the school, Dr Paige left me to my own wandering.

It was my first time that far away from anything I knew. The only place I had ever been outside of the orphanage that Teresa and I grew up in, was camp. Even then it's the same place every year, and we were with everyone else we grew up with.

I had no idea what happened to my family, but I was told they died of a virus complication, some other people told me my parents left me because they were getting sick, and didn't want me to grow up with people that were always ill. I was only a year old when that happened. Teresa and I always wondered about our families, and what they were like. We were so young when we ended up orphaned, that no one knew what our names were. Maybe I had a brother or sister. I never will know, but I can imagine.

I was in the hallway alone and scared when I first saw Newt. He was small for his age, a lean boy. I was too scared to talk to him. Looking back on that day I can't believe he of all people I was afraid of.

"Name's Newt, Greenie. You look a bit lost. Would you like some help finding where you need to go." He gave me a warm smile, something I had only seen from Teresa a long time ago. His voice sounded different, which I later found out was because he is from a different country.

"I'm l-lost. I need to be here," I point to the paper in my hand. It had all the different classes I was to take, but nothing about how to get there. The school never got easier to navigate over the years there.

"I could bring you there if you like. I'm going to the same room. You can meet some of my friends. What's your name?"

"I'm T-thom-mas."

"Nice to meet you. Do people actually call you Thomas?" He inquired.

"A girl named Teresa calls me Tom."

"That doesn't suit you I don't think. Could I call you Tommy?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, I like that." Tommy, somehow him saying it made more sense than my real name.

"Well then, nice to meet you, Tommy. Come on, let's introduce you to the rest of the boys. You are going to love them."

Gently he tugged at my wrist and I followed him down the hallway. At that point I had no idea how amazing and terrifying all the boys I would grow up with would be.

On the way to our class, I learned a little about Newt. He was from England, a place I could only dream of ever seeing. He was older than me, but only a few months older. He talked about his family. This was my favourite subject about him. Of all the things Next was lucky to have, that was the one I envied the most.

"What is your family like?" I asked him.

"I live in a small house with my parents, and little sister, her name is Elizabeth, but I call her Lizzie." He smiled. He smiled in a way that I knew he cared for her. It was something I never knew personally, the love of a family, but I knew that's what it was.

"You really seem to like her. Your sister, what is she like?"

"She's amazing. Just wonderful, and she means everything to me." I learn two things about Newt in that moment. His sister was the thing Newt treasured the most, and that he was loyal.

Lizzie was younger than Newt, by just a few years. I tried to picture her in my mind. A small girl with long blond hair, waiting for her brother to come home. Newt smiling as he gave her a hug.

After a while we got to a classroom that Newt turned into. I quietly followed him. There weren't many children in the classroom, it was still early. Newt seemed to be drawn to the back of the class. There were two boys there talking. The taller one turned towards us.

"Hey Newt. Took you long enough to get here. Who's that one following you."

"Sorry Alby, I found this little new guy on the way. Poor kid was lost. He's Thomas." Newt stayed next to me, and tried his best in make me feel comfortable.

"Nice to meet ya, Thomas was it? I'm Alby." The tall boy said. He then preceded to punch the other boy. "Don't be impolite to our new friend."

"What do you want me to do. Throw a welcoming party?" The smaller boy said sarcastically.

"Don't mind him. That's Minho. I swear he's usually nice.. Once you get to know him a bit." Newt said.

Newt had been right about Minho. He was a nice person, when you get passed his sass. Which very few of us ever did, but I happened to be one of those people. He was a runner, and played any sport that involved running. Newt and I also played some sports, but no one even came close to the skill Minho had.

Before classes started that day the boys asked me about where I was from. I kept a decent amount to myself, but told them about Teresa, and how her and I grew up together. I got to know them a bit better too. Minho was in the same grade as Newt and I, but Alby was a grade ahead of us. Of all the years that we went to school, I rarely seen Alby hang out with the kids in his grade. He was by far the most mature of us, and everyone I ever met there.

Minho and I were in the same room that school year. I remembered being scared of him at first. That only took a few days to completely get over. That day was the first time I had a friend that wasn't named Teresa. I felt I belonged in this place. I felt for the first time I had a family.


	3. Chapter II

"What do you mean it's a lie?"

"You see Thomas, we've noticed a pattern with the two of you. It seems that Newt is very protective of his friends, more so you than anyone else." Dr Paige said calmly. As if lying to teenagers is deemed alright.

"I'm not following."

"We told Newt you were found by a student during one of your and Teresa's _many_ pranks and schemes. I'm almost certain that you two were doing something you weren't suppose to." I could tell that she wanted to give me a detention, but since, I'm assuming, she had no proof, no such punishment occurred.

"Okay so what actually happened then?"

"You were for some reason sneaking around by the baseball diamond-" I cut her off.

"I have a guess. Got hit in the head?"

"Yes, a boy a few years younger than you had hit the baseball in your direction." Her voiced was trying to mask her surprise.

I put my hand onto the back of my head. "Welp. That explains the massive bump there. When can I leave?"

"You may leave whenever you please. However, the boy at the baseball field would like to speak to you before you go. He feels bad about the situation."

"Of course. I'd like to meet the kid that has a crazy strong shot."

Dr Paige was nearly out the door when she turned around. "One more thing Thomas. Please don't tell anyone about this incident for a few days. Your friends have a lot of weight on their shoulders right now as is. And the poor kid gets hurt enough as is."

With that she was gone. I looked around the room for my cellphone. Teresa must have come in a taken it while I was asleep. The room was fairly boring, and there wasn't much to do while I waited for the younger boy to show up. I tried to block out the few noises coming from the other rooms.

I could hear a screaming person a few doors down. The low humming of the many machines drowned out most of it. The walls were a sickly bright white colour. Doctors and nurses ran around the halls. It was a good thing that our school was so close to a hospital and research center. Someone seemed to get hurt every other day.

The door creaked open, and in enter a small boy. He had curly hair, and a bit of dirt was on his cheek. He wasn't very tall but still had some baby fat in his cheeks. He looked to be only eleven.

"H-hi. Your name is Thomas?" The boy was looking down at the floor. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Hey. You can come in you know." I try to sound as cheerful as possible as to not scare this kid.

He took a few small steps into the room. "I'm sorry about hitting you in the head. I swear I didn't mean to. It was an accident."

"It's fine. You must be pretty good at the game for you to hit the ball that hard. What's your name?"

"Charles, but everyone just calls me Chuck. Been my nickname since before I could talk." The boy, Chuck, said. His shyness slowly faded out.

"Nice to meet you Chuck. I've seen you a few times before. Not your first year I assume?"

"No, last year was my first, glad that is over. At least now I'm not the new kid."

Chuck and I talked for a short while. Nothing super important, just getting to know each other a bit better. I felt protective of this kid, but not the same as my other friends. He felt almost closer to me than that. I just couldn't place the feeling.

"I should probably get going now. Dr Paige told me not to keep you waiting too long." Chuck walked towards the door.

I called out after him, "If you ever need some help with something, don't be afraid to ask. I'll gladly help you out."

"Thanks Thomas. I just probably shouldn't ask for your help when it comes to sports. I think we already know how well that will go over." He smiled. It was the first time in a while someone had made me really laugh.

A doctor came in a few moments later telling me I was good to leave. My head was still sore, but at least now I could stand up on my own. I walked out to the waiting room.

Newt was there sitting in a chair with a nervous look on is face. It gives me pain to see the poor boy like this, so vulnerable. And then in the chair next to him, was Minho. Who was most likely playing a video game on his phone right now. Oh how I missed these two over the summer.

Newt was up in an instant, or as fast as his broken leg and crutches would physically let him. I walked over to him, because I knew full well he was going to try and walk over to meet me otherwise. I gave him a hug.

"Nice to see you again Newt."

"Glad you're alright Tommy."

And it was then that Minho seemed to realize that I was there. He stood up and gave me a hug. He then proceeded to, in classic Minho greetings, hit me hard on the arm. "Took you long enough. I thought Newt was going to kill someone."

"I was not." Newt countered.

"Great to see that you two weren't fighting while I was knocked out." I said lightly punching Minho in the chest.

"It's good to have you back. I can't have you hurt too. Who is going to be on the school soccer team?" Minho Looked dead serious, but we both knew he was only teasing.

"We're together again. That's all that's important." I said.

Shockingly it was Newt who was done with the sappy hellos first. "Okay let's get back to the dorms. If we're lucky no one will need to be on their merry way back to here."

Minho and I led the way, Newt was a few meters behind us. I glanced back at him, there was a look of pain in his eyes. I was about to go help him, thinking the pain was from his leg. But there was something else causing his pain. I knew him well enough by now, and I knew he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I turned back to Minho.

Whatever Newt was facing, he wanted to face alone. I know that he's protecting me from some kind of hurt. Some kind of pain, but not matter how Newt put it, it was still something important to me.

But for now I was alright with the peaceful walk back to a, most likely, less peaceful glade.


	4. Remember how scared I was of everyone

Newt was a second-year student when it was my first. We were in the same grade and so was Minho. Most of the boys in our dorm room were our age, however a few were older like Alby. I was still nervous around Minho until later in the evening of our first day.

I followed Newt around most of the day, but he didn't seem to mind it all that much. We had all the same classes so he helped me figure out where to be. He was very kind, and always had a huge smile on his face. He had that smile most of our younger years.

"Tommy?" Newt and I were in the hallway after class. "You want to hang out with Minho and Alby? The two kids from this morning?"

"Sure. Sounds... Fun." I replied. The idea of spending the next hour with Newt's friends did not appeal to me. Purely because I was slightly scared of Minho. However, I did not want to spend the lunch hour alone.

Newt lead me to the cafeteria, which was by far the largest room I have seen today. It looked as if at least a thousand children could fit comfortably in the room. I scanned the room looking for Teresa, but I couldn't find her. Newt pulled me out of my amazed stare and lead me over to the left side of the room. We went to almost the back.

Alby was sitting at a long table with a few other boys, but none looked familiar. Newt seemed to recognize them. He put a small bit of force on my back to guide me towards a seat. Once I put my handout to touch the chair his hand dropped and went to the chair on the right of me. I waited for him to sit down, then mimicked his actions.

"Who's the Green Bean you brought here, Newt?" One of the boys at the table called. He wasn't as tall as most of the boys (but nearly all of them were tall), and was stick thin, he had almost to muscles on him. I later found out his name was Winston.

"This is Thomas. Could you try to let him live for at least a week?" Newt said in a harsh tone. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Newt's expression. I didn't think what he said was completely suppose to be a joke.

"Alright Newt. We haven't had any causalities... yet." The other boy replied. He was eating a massive burger.

"I don't know, you ans Zart got pretty close to it last year." Alby offered. He looked at me. "Don't worry about it Thomas. It's just how some of these people act."

The group of boys talked loudly the entire lunch, and I'm sure some talked longer then the hour allowed. I didn't talk unless I was spoken to, which was mainly by Alby and Minho. Newt kept his chair close to mine, no matter how loud he had to be to talk across the table. When we left to go back to classes, I still hadn't seen Teresa.

Not too much had happened during the last couple of classes of the day. It was the same thing as the morning. Just an overview of the class, rules, blah blah blah. I got bored rather fast. Like ever single other first day of the year.

newt and I were in different classrooms period 5. We both had science, but his grades weren't quite up to par with the requirements for the class I was in. I think it had something to do with the research center. Point begin I had no idea how they picked who was in this room or not. Since it was right after lunch, Newt had been able to walk me to my class before he went to his.

"Take care Tommy. I'll see you next class. Try to avoid getting lost." He jogged off before I could reply. I remember thinking at the time that he was worried about being late to class.

Taking a deep breath, I went into the room. The first thing I noticed was Teresa. She was sitting at a two person table by herself. There were papers spread out in front of her. Knowing the chance she had homework yet was slim, I figured it was an independent project or something like that. It only took a moments hesitation to had towards her. I bet she was adjusting better than I was.

When I took a seat next to her, she finally looked up from her project.

"Hey Tom. How have you been?" Her voice was more formal than I remembered from even just this morning before arriving at the school.

"I'm pretty good, haven't gotten in trouble yet." I gave her a half smile. There was too much tension here. It just didn't feel right, like this place made her different somehow.

"That's good to hear. I'd assume that means you haven't found someone to sneak around with yet." She laughed. Her eyes were bright still. After that day I don't remember her ever looking that happy again.

I thought about Newt, the first thing that pop into my mind. "Oh trust me I have. What about you? I doubt that's homework already."

"You're right, just some research project that I felt like doing. I've been good. So far this school pleases me, as hard as that is to believe."

The conversation was cut short when the bell rang, and class begun. Immediately Teresa put away her things and looked expectantly towards the front. I didn't care much to listen to the usual list of things of the first day. I only recognized one other person: Minho. He was sitting near the back, so I seen no reason to try and get his attention in that moment.

I did not like that teacher at all. That I will always remember clearly. His name always slipped my mind on account of the fact that everyone just called him Ratman (which I would like to point out was not something I came up with). He kept several test rats in his room at all times. I took notice soon in the year that the rats weren't the only test subjects in the room.

Of course, I didn't know why we tended to do rather odd things in that classroom. I asked around for a while but turns out in was a common thing. I guess with the labs so close by it made sense. No one ever thought much into it, that is apart from me. I grew silent about the issue not too much longer after it started. Mostly with Teresa's encouragement, when she was in class.

It was a few years later that the reason for this turned clear, after all the years that certain kids never join us in this class. I pieced certain things together, against the best interest of myself. However, it wasn't until grade 8 that I truly found out the purpose of this place.


	5. Chapter III

None of us talked, the only sounds were those of out feet, or crutches hitting the pavement. I wanted to savour the moment, but we eventually made it back. Minho and I waited up for Newt, who I could tell was struggling. I wanted more than anything to go help him, but I knew full well he was too prideful. That had been something I learnt the hard way a long while back.

When Newt was able to catch up with us, Minho opened the door. And I could hear something hit the ground hard. Something flew towards the door. Minho was fast enough to close it. A second later we could hear a clatter on the other side.

"Great they're already bloody destroying the place." Newt loudly. I laughed at this. Apart from Alby, Newt was the most responsible when he wanted to be. I was guessing today was one of those days.

"My bet is that was Zart." I said lightly punching Minho. I thought back to last Winter when Zart had hurled a gingerbread house at Minho, only that was probably meant to be thrown at me.

"Most likely, if not definitely Mike." Minho said with a grin. Mike had thrown a wooden bowl at me last spring just before the break.

"I can't believe I am actually friends with you two."

"But you know you love us." Minho Laughed.

"Sadly." Was Newt's reply.

Minho opened the door again, just with a bit more cautiously. Some boys were screaming, and others were just being idiots. Ably walked over to us.

"Took you long enough. I'm honestly shocked that only two of you ended up in the ER this week." Alby lightly punched Minho in saying that.

"You never Alby. The week is still young." Minho smirked.

"I will lock you in your dorm room, speaking of which all your garbage is in there. I'd suggest you clean that up tonight so I don't need to get a torch out." Minho was gone after Alby's threat.

"That didn't take much encouragement. I'm assuming you've done that before?" I asked Alby. Newt snorted at the comment. "What?"

"I haven't done that yet, but your sweet little Newt did throw a suitcase down the garbage chute."

"Thanks for making sure that I obey the rules of cleaning when I share a dorm with him." I poked Newt in the ribs.

"Not my fault that everyone here leaves rubbish around the whole bloody place!" He complained.

The glade was having a party that night. The last one before our freedom would be taken from us for a whole year. There were a few new faces this year only four this year, one of which I realized was Chuck. He caught my eye for a moment, but looked away because Newt was with me. I figure it was best for Newt to not question why I already knew this kid. It must have been bad for him in his last dorm if he changed. That rarely happens.

The walk to our home was peaceful. None of us talked, the only sounds were those of out feet, or crutches hitting the pavement. I wanted to savour the moment, but we eventually made it back. Minho and I waited up for Newt, who I could tell was struggling. I wanted more than anything to go help him, but I knew full well he was too prideful. That had been something I learnt the hard way a long while back.

When Newt was able to catch up with us, Minho opened the door. And I could hear something hit the ground hard. Something flew towards the door. Minho was fast enough to close it. A second later we could hear a clatter on the other side.

"Great they're already bloody destroying the place." Newt loudly. I laughed at this. Apart from Alby, Newt was the most responsible when he wanted to be. I was guessing today was one of those days.

"My bet is that was Zart." I said lightly punching Minho. I thought back to last Winter when Zart had hurled a gingerbread house at Minho, only that was probably meant to be thrown at me.

"Most likely, if not definitely Mike." Minho said with a grin. Mike had thrown a wooden bowl at me last spring just before the break.

"I can't believe I am actually friends with you two."

"But you know you love us." Minho Laughed.

"Sadly." Was Newt's reply.

Minho opened the door again, just with a bit more cautiously. Some boys were screaming, and others were just being idiots. Ably walked over to us.

"Took you long enough. I'm honestly shocked that only two of you ended up in the ER this week." Alby lightly punched Minho in saying that.

"You never Alby. The week is still young." Minho smirked.

"I will lock you in your dorm room, speaking of which all your garbage is in there. I'd suggest you clean that up tonight so I don't need to get a torch out." Minho was gone after Alby's threat.

"That didn't take much encouragement. I'm assuming you've done that before?" I asked Alby. Newt snorted at the comment. "What?"

"I haven't done that yet, but your sweet little Newt did throw a suitcase down the garbage chute."

"Thanks for making sure that I obey the rules of cleaning when I share a dorm with him." I poked Newt in the ribs.

"Not my fault that everyone here leaves rubbish around the whole bloody place!" He complained.

The glade was having a party that night. The last one before our freedom would be taken from us for a whole year. There were a few new faces this year only four this year, one of which I realized was Chuck. He caught my for a moment, but looked away because Newt was with me. I figure it was best for Newt to not question why I already knew this kid. It must have been bad for him in his last dorm if he changed. That rarely happens.

It was easy to spot the new kids, even if I didn't know everyone else. They all seemed shy, something we all went through our first year. And then the feast of welcoming began.

This was easily the best meal we eat over the course of every school year. Frypan always gets to the dorms early purely (or so he claims) to prepare for this meal. It's always three courses, each one better than the last one. Technically we do have a fourth 'course' just for our greenies.

Everyone gathers at the tables, with all the new kids together. I take my seat in between Minho and Newt. Alby is sitting on Newt's left, with an empty seat next to him.

"Excited Tommy?" Newt elbows me in the ribs.

I roll my eyes in his direction. "This is the best food we eat during the year. I wonder what Frypan made this year."

"I heard he's got an apprentice now. Jonas. Frypan actually let him in the kitchen during the past two days. Don't think I've ever seen that happen before."

"So, if I get poisoned it's not on Frypan." Minho said.

We laughed. It felt right that we were all together here again. There was so much noise around the table.

Then, Frypan and Jonas came out of the kitchen. Silence rushed over the tables. We waited patiently, no one wanting to delay our meal any longer.

"Everyone," Frypan started, "I am glad to see everyone here again. I hope you all survived your horrible lunches of the summer. And trust me I know some of it is bad. I tasted Thomas' cooking once…" We laughed. "I hope everyone enjoys the food."

Jonas came back out with a cart of food. Even though everyone was hungry, we made no move to trample the poor boy. He came around and gave us each a plate. When everyone had a plate, Jonas took his seat across from Frypan.

Frypan has taken a seat next to Alby. "Welcome back everyone!" Alby called out. "Thank you for the food Frypan. Let's eat!"

All at once the boys turned into animals to eat their meals. The food was heavenly, a good mark to start put the year.

After everyone had eaten, music and games broke out. Groups started to take in the Greenies. I ever seen Chuck get his way into one of the groups. Newt had gone up to unpack his dorm room things, so I decided to see how Chuck was doing.

"Hey Chuck." The boy jumped at the sound of my voice.

"Oh, hey Thomas. I seen you at dinner. I guess you probably saw me there as well."

"For sure, I wouldn't miss getting to see the new kids getting welcomed. Don't worry, that only happens to you once." I smiled. My 'Welcoming Day' had gone over even worst than Chuck's.

"That's good to hear. I don't think I could stomach that again."

I was about to reply when I heard someone call out, "Thomas!" Minho came over to Chuck and I. "You may want to get up to your room and clean up your things. Newt looks ready to explode."

"I'll see you around Chuck."

Newt and I shared a room on the second floor for the past three years. Newt started to sneak out of his room to visit me nearing the end of my first year here. It happened so much the next year we got our rooms switched after that.

I entered the room, it was filled with the smell of oak. It wasn't a very large room, just enough place for two beds, two desks, and nightstands. Our window faced the school, a view I didn't enjoy, but it was better than a view of the hospital like Minho and Alby had.

"Put your bloody things away already Tommy." Newt welcomed me.

His half of the room was spotless, as I knew it would be like for the rest of the year. I don't know how he was able to do that.

"Yes, your Majesty." I took off my sweaty shirt and threw it at him.

"I mean it. You are a bit of a mess." He put the shirt in what would soon be a dirty laundry pile. Together we started to put away my clothes.

It was nearly eleven once we finished.

"Thanks for helping Newt."

"I live you with you, helping was the only way things would get done."

"You could just yell at me from your bed. It would hurt your leg a lot less."

"Like I really care that much Tommy." He went over to his bed and laid down on top of the sheets. I figured that was the closest he was getting to going to bed.

When I got back into our room from getting ready for bed, Newt was already asleep. He looked adorable in his sleep. He shifted his leg and looked uncomfortable. The cast must be annoying for him to use. Poor kid. I wondered what he had done to cause it.

Soon sleep took over. It would be good to get some rest before the day ahead of me tomorrow.


	6. The first night with you

The first time I entered the dorm rooms where I would spend most of my evenings in, I was beyond amazing. The old building looked straight out of a film. It wasn't run down like the buildings where I grew up. In fact, there were a few boys out in the green field of grass. I had never seen anything that green before.

"You seem happy." Newt punched me lightly in the arm. It didn't hurt, but the contact surprised me. I was only ever touched by Teresa for hugs.

"This is where we sleep?!" I was so astonished.

Newt chuckled. "Yeah. I take it you've never seen something like this before. Come on, let's go inside." He takes my hand and runs towards the door, pulling me behind him.

He stopped in front of the door, but holds on to my hand a few seconds later. "Just a warning, Tommy. Some of the boys are out of their minds. Today especially seeing as it's welcome day."

"Alright. Thanks?" I was so unsure of how to reply. It was an odd warning.

When the door opened I could hear shouting. Not mean shouting, it sounded like two boys were happy to see each other. Newt pulled me inside.

The room was grand, I could only assume it was the common room. It could easily hold hundred boys. There were several couches, and a large TV. A few boys that looked several years older were playing cards on a low table. A few others were in the corner playing pool. Some others were just standing around talking and the boys that couldn't sit still were running around playing tag. Two were just sitting quietly in the corner, they weren't talking to anyone. Newt seen me staring at the two of them.

"They are new this year as well. Don't know their names yet." Newt told me. He was smiling, so hopeful.

"Guess who got stuck with a new kid." Minho came up to us. He acted upset, and at the time I thought he was being honest about his disappointment.

"Let me guess, you are. Did you at least get Tommy?" Newt asked. I shrunk behind Newt afraid to hear what Minho would say.

"Yeah, looks like I'm sharing a room with you this year Thomas. I hope you aren't as much of a clean freak as Newt here." He smiled. It wasn't a happy smile, but he showed me kindness. "Why don't I show you where it is. That way you can get a bit settled before dinner."

"Dinner?" I asked, "Why is it important tonight?"

"We get a special meal either the first or second night. It's a chance to welcome in the Greenies." Newt grinned evilly as he spoke. I figured there was something to do with how the new kids were welcomed. As I think about it, he was probably excited to see a new group of kids suffer the same way he had the previous year.

Minho lead me up the stairs to the third floor. The rooms weren't very big, but at the time it was the most space I had to myself. I spent most of my life sharing rooms twice the size with triple the people. Minho smiled, and his bad by persona was gone.

"I take it you like this place so far?" He asked. I remember back then he kept a baseball clock in the room.

"This place is amazing. I really like it." I threw some of my clothes into the closet, not really caring where it went. I had a closet for the first time in my life.

"I figured you may want to know where you can crash is the celebrations get to be too much. Of course, no one is allowed to leave until the feast is over. That's just the rules. You'll like it I'm sure." Minho sat on his bed, so care free. That changed a few years later after a gang attack. He never smiled much afterwards, but no one could blame him for that reaction.

"Why can't we skip dinner?" I asked. I didn't get the big deal over this.

"First off, you'll hurt the chef's feelings. He works hard on this every year. Second, first years are the guests. We are welcoming you guys after all."

I didn't ask anymore questions that night and just followed along to what Minho was telling me. It was the best plan to not make a fool out of myself. I couldn't sit nearby Minho or Newt during the meal which I hated. Not sitting near them I mean; the food was amazing.

After dessert (butter tarts with pecans) everyone spilt up into different groups I went to find Newt, but Alby stopped me.

"He'll be back in a minute, just had to go grab something." Alby's voice was firm. He would not bend. I decided to not fight him, even than I had that much sense in me.

Newt came back a few minutes later with a jar of something in his hands. "Hey Tommy. Enjoy it?" He was grinning ear to ear, but I could tell it wasn't a completely friendly smile.

"I was really good. What's that you have?" I pointed to the jar in his hands. Big mistake.

"This is just something we like to give as a welcoming gift to greenies. Try it." He takes off the lid and passes it to me.

"What do I do with this?" I look over at Minho for an answer, but his eyes are to the floor.

"Take a sip." Newt encouraged me.

Without really looking at what's inside the jar I tip it up to my mouth. I foul taste fills my mouth and I gag. This stuff was horrible in compared to my least favourite foods. Around us people laugh. I realized that about a third of the boys were watching this. The others are watching the other two new boys.

"Welcome to the glade Tommy you're officially one of us." Newt smiled as if he just told the greatest joke around. Though in his defence that is a very good prank.

"That stuff is gross." Is all I can say. I feel as if I will be sick.

"I know, but all of us do it. Come on let's get you some water." He puts his arm around me. I subconsciously lean into him. We walk to the bathroom before I throw up in the middle of the room.

Once we got to the washroom, Newt filled up a plastic up with water for me to sip on.

"What was that stuff?" I asked.

"We aren't really sure, but all of us know how terrible it is. I did worst than you did. Took maybe half the amount you did and was green for two days." He pushed my bangs away.

I must have looked terrible. "Your eyes have a nice colour. I like it." Newt said, then turned away from me. His cheeks were red.

I coughed loudly. The taste still deep in my throat. Newt didn't leave me until curfew. That was night my life would change forever. That was the first time I liked a boy a little more than a friend. Too bad it would take the younger me another three years to come to terms with it.

"Welcome to our group, hope you like it here." Was Newt's goodnight. I went to bed with a smile plastered to my face.


	7. Chapter IV

So I don't get why every hates the first day of school. I get the whole we are stuck here for the next 10 months, but really the first day nothing happens. You get to watch the new kids get lost, and see your friends.

Newt was up before I was, which didn't surprise me. I was used to him getting up super early right after coming here. Since he flies from England, the time difference is terrible. But it means you won't be late for the first few days of school.

I rolled over to look at my clock. It read six. The curtains had been opened, and the light was angled perfectly to hit my face. I groaned and flopped face first onto my pillow, shielding me from all the light it could.

I could just sense the energy in the room. Newt's presence was too much at this hour of the day. Most of the time it was okay to deal with but I was tired. He must have heard me groan, because he sat down on my bed trying to crush my arm.

"Newt get off!" I shouted through the pillow. It was muffled, but I was sure he got the point as I thrash around trying to get free.

"How about no." That's when I started to scream.

Alby and Minho stumbled into the room moments later. Ably looked to have been awake for a short while before the screaming, but Minho had clearly just been pushed out of his bed. I couldn't see that at first. It was only Minho's swearing that alerted me it was him.

"Newt could you not kill your roommate. It's 6am. Kill him when everyone is awake." Alby's heavy steps walked towards us. He stopped for a moment and Newt let out a mild cry of pain.

"Alright. I was just playing. You know I don't need him dead." Newt got off of me, then ripped the covers off my bed. I was really worried about that, because these boys have seen me in dumber situations.

"Now either shut your trap, or leave the building." Minho snapped. He gave Alby a long glare before retreating to his own room.

"I will punish you both." Alby said before leaving.

Newt and I started laughing.

The day long. I didn't end up in any of the same classes as Newt all morning and hadn't seen him in the halls. I had a special science class this year, which meant more experiments in the lab that they call a class. Whatever though, I just hated seeing how Teresa is now. She was always one studying others, not really caring about how they felt anymore.

I happened to have a class with her right before lunch, English. I got to class before her, I didn't even notice her sir next to me. She was sneaky and quiet, something I admired yet hated about her.

"Hey Tom." So formal as always.

"Hey Teresa." I look pass her, but she catches my trick and forces me to look at her.

"I heard about Newt, I'm really sorry." Her eyes are sympathetic. I recognized the look from when a new kid showed up. Her trying to comfort the poor child. I didn't get why she was using that on me.

"Yeah well, not much you can do. Always is a risk when you play a sport." I shrugged. As much as it kills me that Newt got hurt, I can't change what happened and worst things could come out of contact sports.

"What do you mean?" Her expression changed to confusion. Was she referring to something else about Newt?

"His leg? There's always risks to playing sports and he managed to break his leg."

She looked as if trying to comprehend what I said, which leads to a more confused look on her face. She lights up with a sudden realization and then goes back to sorrowful eyes. "Right, yeah. But still kinda sucks. I know how over protective you can get of people. Him mainly."

"That is so not true." I said defensively. I tried to push the feelings about him away, but it seems impossible. And Teresa knew it.

"Wanna bet on that one?"

"No, because you'll win as always." Teresa laughs for the first time I've heard in a over a year.

When class begins I'm still wondering why she was confused about telling her what happened to Newt's leg. Surely she must have known that to bring it up in the first place.

I don't get to compare my classes to those of my friends until the end of the day. Teresa wanted to talk to me in private during lunch. I really didn't want to go with her, but her tone said that I didn't get a choice in the decision. We went to the science wing, not a surprise seeing as this was Teresa.

She brought me into one of the rooms at the far end of the science wing, one that was usually forbidden. Not that I was complaining about breaking the rules. That was a fairly standard routine for me.

It looked like a hospital room. only more machines than the one I had been in the previous day. There was no colour, no life here. I pity anyone that had to spend their time in here.

Dr. Paige was in the room at on e of the larger machines. She was in pure concentration, until we showed up. Then, her attention changed towards us. Teresa locked her arm around mine. I had no escape from this room now.

"Hello, Thomas. Have a seat." Dr. Paige said in a sickly sweet voice. Like a hunter encouraging its prey into a snare.

"I'd rather stand if that's alright." I said. Teresa pushed me towards the dentist chair near the canter of the room. Then in clicked, this wasn't a hospital room, it was a test chamber. And I was the lab rat.

"Let me rephrase this for you. Sit down, now. I am in charge of this school after all. You do as I say." She said between gritted teeth.

I sat down in the seat and Dr. Paige put straps around my arms to keep me still.

"I'm sure you'd like to know why you're her Thomas. See we're conducting some experiments here to help contribute to the medical science world. Everyone of our students is subject to be part of the testing. You was one of the ones we picked. Now, this will only hurt a minute." She explained.

Teresa put some foam between my teeth. "Bite down, Tom." Before I process her words, Dr. Paige has already injected me with something. I scream and the world goes dark.


	8. I remember how happy he was

It wasn't until my third year at the school that Newt and I got to share a room. Minho would keep complaining about how noisy Newt was in the morning, and Ably was sick of thinking that he got kidnapped. I wasn't the best either, and Minho hated to share a room with me.

"Minho turn your music down. I don't want my ears to bleed before my English test next week." I shouted at Minho. I was actually trying to study for once, but that was near impossible with Newt blasting his music. He was twelve at the time, and his music sense has not gotten any better.

"If you don't like that music move out already!" Minho shouted back. I knew he was only teasing me because I kept on complaining about him as a roommate. "At least it's not you snoring in the middle of the night."

"I'm leaving. Fail your classes if you feel like it." I grabbed my notes and textbook and left the room. I could still hear the music in the hallway. I was sure some other people could too.

It was then that Ably marched upstairs. His room was across from mine on the third floor. He did not look too happy. My guess was someone had complained.

"Let me guess. He's playing that music again." Ably said.

"Too loud to work in there. Where's Newt?" I asked. The English kid was pretty good at the language himself.

"Downstairs. I'll go deal with Mr. Noise." Alby was a good four inches taller than Minho at the time. Over the summer when he turned thirteen he grew a lot. I hardly recognized him last month when school began.

I went down stairs just as Ably slammed my dorm room door shut. I knew they wouldn't get much done. Alby tried to be the leader and treat all us twelve-year-olds equally; however, he had a soft spot for Minho. Even if he won't admit it out loud to this day.

Newt was where Alby had said he was. He was sitting on one of the couches in the far corner near the fireplace with a book in hand. Only Teresa liked to read as well, but she was always reading textbooks. Newt loved fiction.

"Hey Newt, what are you reading today?" I was certain the book was different from yesterday.

" _Flowers for Algernon_ , Daniel Keyes. Good read." He put the book down and looked at me. "What'cha got there, Tommy?"

"English worksheets. There practice for the test. You know I'm terrible at grammar." I hinted. Hopefully he would get the idea.

"You are telling me this because you need help." It wasn't a question.

"I mean if you aren't busy."

Newt rolled his eyes at me. "You can be bloody annoying sometimes."

"I know, now help me. I can't tell the difference from colons and semi-colons."

Newt and I stayed up late after I understood half the concepts I needed to know for the test, and clearly have forgotten by now. Eventually it was time for the common room to be shut down for the night.

"We should probably go to our rooms. I don't think you want to get detention." Newt said when nearly all the lights were off.

"Yeah. Probably. Come on, let's go." I picked up my books that had been long forgotten. Newt grabbed his novels and we left right as the last warnings came on.

The third-floor hallway was quiet, which was surprising because Minho lived here. I opened my door.

Minho was out on his bed, and Alby was laying on the floor. It seemed he had fallen asleep first because my blanket had been tossed on top of him. Newt was right behind me when I paused in the doorway.

"Appears Alby was able to turn the music off." Newt laughed.

I bite my lip to muffle the laughter. There was soft music playing in place of the heavy metal.

"So… Sleepover in your room?" I suggested.

"Yeah. Go get your stuff, and try not to wake sleeping beauties. I'll se you in ten." Newt slipped out of the room. There was a soft thud as his door closed. I changed out of my school clothes.

Newt was sitting on his bed when I walked into the room. He didn't look tired, but he must be seeing as how early he gets up every morning.

"You look good, Tommy." Newt laughed.

I smiled. Newt's PJs had mini Big Bens. He was proud of his home.

"Did you get those in London?" I asked. I had read a bit about the place where Newt spent his childhood and summers.

"Yeah. My sister and I went there last summer with our Aunt Sonya. We were there for a week. Pretty tacky?"

"Not really. How was it? The trip?" I never got to travel.

"It was fun. The London eye is my favourite thing. It's this giant Ferris wheel, like the one at May's fair. Only ten times bigger. I love going to the top and seeing all of London. Lizzie was scared she was going to fall though."

Newt close his eyes. He was reliving that memory with a smile on his face. I had seen pictures of the London eye before, but I can't imagine actually getting to be there. I never had good summer stories. I was always with Teresa, but we went to camp. It was the same thing as the rest of the year.

"What is your sister like, Newt?" I asked him about Lizzie a lot over the years we lived in the same building.

"She's two years younger than us, ten years old in a month. My mother told me that the first day I met her, she had never seen me so happy." Newt smiled. He always seemed brighter when he talked about his sister. I guess he took pride in her and missed Lizzie.

I know it must be hard on him to be away from her ten months of the year. Sometimes I was jealous of that. He got to have a sister two month of the year. I didn't get a family anytime of the year.

Newt talked about Lizzie for a while more until the stars came out twinkling. He fell asleep before me, as he did every night we spent together. He had a smile on his face while he slept. I got into Alby's bed and shut off the lights. I put myself in Newt's amazing life in my dreams that night.


	9. Chapter V

I don't remember anything from when I blacked out, only that it had happened. Teresa was there with me when I woke up. She was holding my hand gently, once I had full control over myself, I pulled away. She had tricked me into this.

"How do you feel, Tom?" She looked genuinely concerned about me.

"You tricked me into this." I shouted and she winced at the words.

"You're my only friend, the only one that knows what I went through. I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you." She reached out to touch me, where the needle had punctured my skin. I pulled away in fear.

"Don't touch me! You will make it worst." There was a dull ache in my arm, but after the shock faded away, there was no pain.

She lifted up her own sleeve. There was a small scar around the place I was given the needle. I had to look away, at anything else. Even the large machines, or complex diagrams were a better view than her scarred arm, covered in bruises.

"Tom, look at me. Please. They gave me the shot a few days ago. It's fine, a lot of the kids will be getting them soon. In fact, the majority of your friends got theirs today. I promise you are okay, but this was the only way I would get you to do it. Dr. Paige knew that much too."

I looked at her arm, covered in black and blue. Her arm was littered with small marks. I realized they were all different times she was in my place now. How many times was she sitting in this chair alone?

I looked down at my own arm. There was one mark scabbing over, it would turn into the same mark as Teresa's. A small purple circle surrounded the mark.

"Why are there so many Teresa?" I couldn't bare the words, it was too much to believe Teresa, the sweet innocent child I loved as a sister, was forced into this.

"They wanted to test different ones on certain kids. Aris has a lot of them too." She said the name sickly sweet. I wasn't jealous of Aris, not as most would think. I just didn't want Teresa to lose the person she is, or was.

"Why? What's the point of all of this?" I couldn't believe the people in this place. Using children as rats, as nothing more than a test subject.

"I can't tell you. They wouldn't let me help if you knew anything." Teresa was getting a chance at her dream, scientist. I won't take this away from her, brainwashed or not.

Dr. Paige came in then. Her was matted and she looked tired. I was not the first person she has seen today.

"How long has he been up?" Dr. Paige asked Teresa. She didn't give me a second look.

"A few minutes now. He's alert, and has been given the proper information regarding… this."

"Very good. He may go back to his dorm now. Teresa, would you escort him?" The question comes out most like a demand. Teresa would listen no matter what she thought.

"Why can't I just go by myself? I know the way." This was getting ridiculous. I did not need help getting to my dorm. Mostly I didn't want to face Teresa alone any longer.

"In case there are any side effects. Very unlikely to happen, but we wan tot be on the safe side."

Reluctantly, I got up off the bed. Dr. Paige left the room, as soon as she seen that I could stay standing. Teresa led me to the door.

Questions boiled inside my head as we walked. I couldn't take this tension, and I had no idea how long it would be until I seen her alone again. Over the years it got scarce.

"How long ago did this start?" How long was she a test animal?

"I was eleven." She wouldn't meet my eyes.

Four years ago. She would be fifteen soon. I thought back to her in grade six. The bright smile that got smaller and smaller each time we met. Her eyes dulled and hollowed. I watch her get life sucked out of her childhood, and did nothing.

"When?" I couldn't form complete sentences.

"November, They started letting me help out in the lab. I enjoyed that so much." She looked up at the sky. The stars were just coming out. "I used to wish on the first star every night for the chance to change the world."

"You still wish on stars. I could hear you whispering." I chuckled. As kids we both wished on the first star every night. I always wished for a family, sometimes on clear nights I still make wishes, about my friends, the family I was given.

"It's habit I guess. Something I just like to do. It makes what you want just a little more real."

We were silent for a long time. It was a quiet night, only our footsteps could be heard. I stopped a block or so away from the dorms. Teresa looked at me puzzled.

"Let's go into the field. It's been a while since we got to hang out as friends, not classmates. Just for a little bit."

We walked out into the field just far enough that no one would see us. It reminded me of when we were kids. Just having fun and not worrying about the world. It had been so many years since we just got to be carefree.

"How have you been?" Her hair was masked in the night, there was only a soft glow from the dorm lights.

"I'm alright. School just started, so there isn't much stress yet. How have you been?" The small talk was forced. I just didn't want to face the truth.

"I've been good. I get to talk to Aris sometimes. He got a phone last year, so it's nice to hear from him and Rachel."

"Teresa, why are they doing this? I need to know." Her expression hardens.

"I want to tell you. I wanted to tell you years ago when they started to use me to help them. They want to help people, but helping takes trail and error."

"They shouldn't use kids for this project. Not without us having some say in it."

"They've run out of time. There needs to be more trials."

"How many shots have they given you?" The question I was most afraid to hear

"I lost count a long time ago."


	10. How the light faded from her

Teresa was a bit younger than me, but twice as smart. Neither of us know how old we actually are, but we Teresa looked about nine months when she came to the orphanage, and I was about six months old when I showed up there a year before. Either way we ended up in the same grade. I wished as a kid that I knew her real birthday. Maybe then we could have given her a gift. Only a few kids were lucky enough to know how old they really were.

We went to a small school as kids, mostly for troubled children and orphans. Our teachers called her and I bright. Teresa would always smile when a teacher told us that. As a kid her smile was brighter than the sun on hot days. I always tried to get her to smile like that in class.

Then, we both got accepted into our new boarding school. I passed, but Teresa, she passed with flying colours. It came to her so easily, but she said she wouldn't leave without me. Sometimes I wonder if that was the only reason I got in. They wanted Teresa so much, but they had to take me with her. Either way, I got to go.

I noticed quickly that her and I got separated as much as possible. Of course, the dorms are strictly separated, but that wouldn't stop me. I never tried to break into the girls' dorms to see Teresa. First, I didn't know with dorm she was in, and I want her to not have me as a pain. First year I seen her a lot, but second year things changed.

"Hey!" I shouted across the lunch room to Teresa. "Come sit over here!"

It was a rare thing to see Teresa there, so I tried to invite her over every once in a while. She nodded in approval, and went in line to get her lunch.

"Calling your girlfriend over, Thomas?" Minho teased.

Newt slapped him in the back of the head, causing some soup to spill on Minho's lap. "That's not his bloody girlfriend, Minho."

"Oh right, I forgot Newt, _your_ Tommy's girlfriend, aren't you?" He glared. Newt cheeks turned pink, and I could feel the heat raising in my own.

"Both of you! Quit it." I snapped as Alby moved the butter knives out of our reach.

"Alby, could you sit in between the two of them before someone is killed." I asked. The three of them sat across from me at the table.

We were all talking, then the others fell silent. Teresa was standing awkwardly behind me with her lunch.

"You know, Teresa. You are allowed to sit down when I invite you over. Trust me. These ones will be on good behavior. At least I hope so."

Teresa sat down next to me. She was eleven at the time it must have been around the time she started the experiments.

"Nice to see you again, Teresa. How have you been?" Alby tried to break the ice with her. Her mind seemed to be somewhere else.

"Oh, um. I'm pretty good. Classes have been hard." Her eyes wandered around the room. The changes in her voice were gradual I couldn't notice the changes when we were kids.

Most of us wore our sleeves rolled up, just some way to ignore the rules without a detention. Teresa did that all of our first year. She would come outside with us all spring with bare arms. I never noticed the change in her appearance.

The biggest changed that I was blind to happened in November of our second year.

"Tom. Could I talk to you?" Teresa asked me at the end of the day. I had nowhere to be that evening. And I missed getting to see Teresa as much.

"Yeah. Of course." I replied.

We went out to the soccer fields. It was nice to just lay in the grass and soak up the sun. The weather was getting colder, but it was still comfortable outdoors.

"I want you to know that I can't hang out with you as much anymore." She said, avoiding me.

My expression dropped at her words. "Why?"

"I'm doing some extracurriculars now, they take up a lot of time. So I won't see you as much. I'm sorry about that."

"It's alright, Teresa. You should get to enjoy school too. As long as you don't completely ditch me forever I'm okay with it." I cared deeply about Teresa since I was a child, but I never wanted to limit her.

I still got to see her in class. I guess that's why I didn't notice the changes in her personality. That must have been her taking on a role with Dr. Paige. That was when the scars from needles formed, and my best friend died. She was replaced with someone else in the same body.

Later in the year I talked the Alby about Teresa. I guessed the changes were more obvious since he only seen her every blue moon.

"Thomas, what's wrong with Teresa?" He asked me one day in the dorm rooms. Clearly, he had been thinking about this for a while.

"What do you mean? Nothing is wrong with her?" I thought he was insane at that point.

"She's been acting different recently. We see her less now. Even when we do get to see Teresa, I hardly hear her speak anymore."

"She's busy. After school activities, she has less time to hang out with us." I did not want to talk anymore about Teresa. Part of me refused to believe Teresa was any different that year. It wasn't possible for her to change like that.

That summer she went away to camp with Aris and Rachel for two months. I only went for two weeks during our break. Even during that camp, I seen little of her compared to the year before. She was always getting busy doing something.

The next few years blurred Teresa's personality together. I can't believe that I couldn't see the light fade from her eyes. She suffered alone, and I stood by watching blindly for four years.


	11. Chapter VI

"I lost count a long time ago." Teresa's words rang out like thunder in the weeks that came. But slowly the storm of her words faded as the month changed to October. A month where everyone at the glade was going to try and scare the living daylights out of everyone else. Minho was already at it.

"So, how do you think I can get Alby this year guys?" Minho asked Newt and I as we walked together to school.

"Spiders work on Tommy here." I could see a puff of his breath escape the wool of his scarf. The temperature had just dropped below the temperature to see breath.

"I think it was more the fact that I woke up staring at one, Newt." I laughed punching him lightly. His cast came off a week ago, but he was still in a brace. I didn't want him more injured for the soccer year once it healed.

"Still screamed like a girl though." Newt punched me back a bit harder.

"Yeah and woke the rest of us up. Thanks for that one, mate." Minho groaned. He was not a morning person, or even an afternoon person. Just don't wake the guy up. Ever.

"Are we talking about how unmanly Thomas is?" Alby came up behind Minho and wrapped his arms around Minho, causing the poor boy to jump. It was entertainment.

"Cut it out guys." I shoved Alby.

The day went on as any other. The leaves had turned colour, the chills filled the air. Spirits walked the Earth, or so the fairy tales say.

I was teased when we were younger, the first year at this school, for believing in those stories. Newt thought it was cute and shared his own stories from England. In truth, I just hoped that many two spirits were watching me this time of year. Two that I would never know the real names of.

I walked the grounds at lunch that day. A gentle breeze pushed leaves into spirals before settling back down on the grass. Minho was at Volleyball, and Alby had to write a test. Newt wasn't at the lunch table, something odd for him.

I spotted Chuck sitting near a tree by the fence. He was alone, and far from the school. He didn't notice that I was nearby. The soft crunch of dried leaves caused him to look up.

"Hey Chuck, just me. May I join you." I said once I was certain he could hear me.

"Sure Thomas." He beamed when I asked to join him. I was getting the feeling that he didn't often have people to spend lunch with.

"How have you been?" I asked, taking a seat across from him.

"Good. Your dorm room is already so full of Halloween stuff. Last year mine didn't have that much things going on even on Halloween, much less the first week of October."

"Yeah. It's certainly a lot of decorations. They certainly go all out. Just watch your back, pranks are a big thing this time of year." I warned him. My first year of school here I got pranked mostly by Minho.

"Yeah. I've already been the target of slime." He motioned to a slightly green stain on his shoulder. His shirt had become victim of Zart's famous slime.

"Just wait until April's fools. Slime is a minor prank compared to that day." I laughed.

Chuck laughed too. "I'm a bit worried about that."

We continued talking for most of lunch. I liked talking to Chuck, because he was calm and level headed (so opposite of Minho). If I was honest, he reminds me of myself a few years back. I wanted to protect him from the pranks. It felt like I had a little brother, one of my long since faded childhood dreams.

A bit before lunch was over, Chuck's sleeve got pushed up. I glanced down at his arm, and a pink scar was starting to form. It looked oddly familiar… like the one that I was given a few weeks before. I couldn't look at it any longer.

"I got to go. Bye Chuck." I left before he replied. My head was spinning and I needed to get away from the kid.

Once I was back in the school, I went to the restroom to calm myself down. The image of Chuck's arm merged with the one of Teresa's. Her words repeated again, louder than they were ever. "I lost count." How could they hurt such a young boy?

I knew Chuck didn't like science, so there was no way he willing got the shot, their experiment. The idea sickens me. It was once thing on the older boys, but Chuck was barely twelve. The thought of him passing out at the pain was too much. Eventually a calmed myself down and headed to class. The images didn't leave my mind, but I no longer focus on it.

I didn't see Chuck the rest of the day. Once I got to my dorm, I sealed myself in my room. For the first time ever I pulled out my homework to do it. Anything to get the thought of Chuck out of my mind.

The hours flew by, and Minho ad to come get me for dinner.

"Dude, you're actually doing your homework?" Minho said walking into my room.

"Nothing else to do. Where's Newt?" I hadn't seen anyone since I got here, but usually Newt comes into our room at least once just to drop off his bag. Something was a bit off with that.

"I don't know. You want to eat or not?"

We went down to the common room, where most of our meals were held. At least the ones hosted by Frypan. Everyone always sat in the same places, it was something that is decided upon in the first week of school. Just the way that things went here.

Alby was already sitting down next to Frypan. Newt was no where to be found.

"You forgot one, Minho." Alby commented when we took our seats.

"Not my fault he's missing. Probably out late in the library."

Newt didn't show up for the meal, one of his favourites, pizza. I couldn't face Chuck then. It was too painful to think he went through the same torture as I did. It wasn't fair for a child to go through that type of pain as if he were just a test rat.

Finally, the evening began to come to an end. Everyone either went to their rooms, or the Friday night party would begin. I wasn't in the mood to party that night. The day just had hit me hard.

I stayed up a while to wait for Newt, but sleep took over. He was there in the morning, but he didn't get back until late. I wondered where he had been the entire day.


	12. Spirits of Halloween

When I was little, before Teresa and I left for school, we used to hear stories of spirits. I think it was mostly to help us feel less alone, like our families didn't just up and leave us. AS I got older I stopped believing that someone was watching over me all the time. It started to sound creepy that I was watched all the time.

However, there was something about Halloween that made everyone have just a little belief in the paranormal. It was around that time of the year that I was sent away to that orphanage. The two connected, and part of me just hoped that every once in a while, I wasn't completely alone. The idea gave me some comfort, but fairy tales mean nothing once you get older and are the only one left clinging to those stories.

I found this out the first year I was away for school. Minho only ever wanted candy, and Alby never like the idea of spirits. I had never known Halloween to be more than a day of spirits.

"Why are there so many decorations around the school, Newt?" I asked one evening in mid October. Spider webs and curtain ghosts began to litter the school, and I was left in the dark as to why.

"Everyone's getting ready for Halloween." He replied casually.

"Don't tell me you've never heard of Halloween." Minho said to me, earning him and punch from Alby.

"Do we need to talk about respecting others again?" Alby said.

"I know what Halloween is, but why the decorations?" Heat grew on my cheeks. I hated not understanding something that the other knew about. It made me feel out of place my first year.

"You need to decorate. It gets you in the spirit, perfect for some jump scares!" Minho shouted. He was always excited about this holiday above all others.

"What are you dressing as, Tommy?" Newt asked me.

I had never in my life dressed up for Halloween, it just wasn't something that we did back at the orphanage. We were all told to stay inside that night and hide from the demons that roamed the night. We rarely left the property in October.

"What do you mean?"

"For Halloween, what are you going to be. I'm being a vampire." He laughed. As if it was such a simple question to answer.

"I'm going to be a wizard." Alby said. He pretended to cast a spell with a stick on the ground as we walked back to our dorms.

"I'm a ghost, doing to scare everyone I can, I'll get loads of candies." The idea of Minho trying to scare people was easy for me to picture, but the candy made no sense.

I pretended to know what they were talking about, but never fully made conversation. I had just recently made these friends, the last thing I wanted to do was lose them over not knowing what people were saying.

That evening Newt came into my room to talk to me. "Hey, Tommy. Could I talk to you a moment?" He hadn't bothered to knock.

"Yeah. I'm not planning on doing my homework tonight anyways."

"You didn't seem to get what was going on when we were walking here. Have you never celebrated Halloween before?"

Conflict swirled inside me. I didn't want to reveal much about where I was from. "Not really. I guess it just wasn't a big deal, so no one celebrated it. At least not the way it is here."

"That's okay, every place is a little different. I just don't want you to feel completely out of place here." He smiled. It was then that I realised we hadn't spent any time where it was just the two of us in one room. I had never seen so much compassion in him before.

We spent the next hour talking about holidays and how Newt had spent them here the year before. I learnt so culture things to feel more a part of the group. It was kind of him, and I finally understood that this kid was truly amazing.

When it was Halloween I didn't go near the dorm until late that evening. I didn't want to participate in their version of Halloween. Instead I went to search for spirits.

"Hey, Tom." Teresa called out to me. "Looking for spirits too?"

"Yeah. Childish still. You haven't looked for them since you were six." She gave up searching long before I did.

"I knew you'd be out tonight. I didn't want you to be all alone."

"I won't be. I have the spirits." I joked.

"You know what I meant. I'm sure your parents are out here watching you. They'd be proud of who you are now." Her breath turned to fog, on the crisp evening.

"I wish I could have met them, Teresa. Just to know their faces, who they were." She was the only one that had the same experiences as I did. I would never tell this to Minho or even Newt.

"I know you do. I miss my parents as well. But they will never be completely gone unless we forget about them entirely." We walked down a dirt road, it looked abandoned, the perfect place to search for spirits.

"But don't you wish you knew something about your past. Even our real names." Teresa winced at my words. No one had ever known our real names, our real age, or even where we were from. The core of so many students here.

"Trust me. I wish I knew who I was, but that's a different person. I like to think the girl I was, whatever her name was, is happy. But the people we were born as are dead. We are Thomas and Teresa, and those are the only names we've ever known."

I wished I could forget that I was someone else. I was the son of somebody for a short while. Maybe my parents' souls were calling out to me, but by a different name. Maybe I would never no them even in death because I never knew who I once was.

Teresa and I keep searching for spirits that night. I never stopped looking no matter how old I got.


	13. Chapter VII

The next morning Newt wasn't in our room still. It wasn't that uncommon for him to be out of the room early, but usually he left a note. I check around his night table but I couldn't seem to find anything. That's when I remembered that he hadn't come back the night before and fear filled my veins.

I rushed out of the room down to the room that Alby and Minho were sharing. Learning the hard way that waking up Minho was not a good idea if you felt like living, I just barged in.

Minho was still passed out on the far bed, sort of. He was laying half off of it too because that kid could not stay still in his sleep. Alby was already up and dressed. He was sitting soundlessly on his bed with a textbook. If it was anyone else I'd say he forgot a test was going on today, but as it stands this was Ably.

"Thomas, what's the matter with you?" He said calmly not even looking up from the textbook (seriously how did he manage to read that without getting bored to death?).

"Newt. He wasn't in the room this morning, and I didn't see him last night. Something has to be wrong." I tried to keep my nice quiet, but panic rushed through me.

Alby looked up from his book, expression shockingly calm. "You are aware that Newt is allowed his own life too?"

"Okay, but Newt is always there at night. He wouldn't leave without telling anyone. I know he wouldn't. Something must have gone wrong with him."

Alby stood up and walked in front of me. He peered down at me, his four inches on my 5'7". "Thomas, you need to relax. I got a text from him last night. He stayed the night in the science department. Some kind of random testing was going on? I don't really know. Whatever it was he needed to say the night. Now can you please leave me alone, before you wake up the entire dorm, please."

I let go of a breath I had no idea I was holding. Newt was alright and he was safe. Or at least safe for this messed up school. "Okay thanks. I just am a bit paranoid."

"Trust me, everyone knows that. Newt's no better than you are." He chuckled.

I felt more rational at this point. Less like it was just me that got worried about friends.

"Yeah, yeah. Bye." I left their room and went back to mine.

The room was darker than normal. The blinds were still closed and the sunlight couldn't reach inside. I guess I had gotten used to Newt opening them himself when he got up. I went to open them, but the room didn't seem to get any brighter.

That evening when I got back to the dorm rooms with Minho after soccer practice, Newt was standing in the living room. Immediately I tackled him in a hug. Joy filled my body and the fear of the morning had faded.

I took a step back to look at Newt. He had a cotton ball taped to his forearm, the way mine had when I woke up a while back. That was why he had left the night before. He must have been out all night, and woken up in the morning alone. No, I didn't want to think of Newt alone in a lab room.

I looked up at his face, but something had disappeared. There was less glow in his eyes then the day before, like the injection took a physical toll on him.

"Miss me that much, Tommy?" Newt laughed. It was the same laugh I have heard on many occasions, but his eyes didn't follow his tone.

"Well, when you just go off the face of the earth for a full day. I had good reasoning to miss you this time." I gently punch him, careful to make sure he won't get more injured.

"Sorry about that. I had time to text one person. Figured Alby was the most rational one here, and wouldn't try to find me in the middle of the night like I know that some people most certainly would."

"Oh very funny, Newt. I can be rational when I choose to be."

"Right. So is that why you ran into Alby's room at seven this morning?" Newt teased.

"Forgot about that. Okay but I didn't know where you were at the point."

After several hours of food and teasing, I finally went up to the room for the evening. Part of me just wanted to avoid the group for a while.

Newt had been up here in the time I was gone. His stuff was still in perfect place, but he had added some more books to the pile on the floor.

I thought back to the day before and how Newt was out of last period. Come to think of it, he wasn't there most of the day. I had only been out a few hours but he had been gone much longer. I knew that everyone reacted a bit different to the things the school gave us, but more than a day seemed far too much.

"What are you thinking about?" Newt had walked into the room.

"Nothing much, just thinking, I guess." I stammered. He did not need to know how much I was worrying about him.

"I know you were worried about me. I'm fine." He sat on his own bed across from me.

"Why were you gone so long?"

"They had to run some extra tests, and needed me to stay. I promise I didn't get hurt or anything."

"I just get so afraid. Especially where you're having trouble walking now anything could have hap-"

"You always were afraid of the worst possible things."

"Just for you Newt. Minho can go balance flaming swords for all I care." I joked.

Newt leaned closer to me. "It's cute, you know."

"Shut up." I could feel my face getting redder.

"It's one of the reasons I like you so much."

It's not my heroic figure and amazing running skills?" I flexed my arms trying to show off the little muscle there actually was.

"That too." He leaned over and kiss my head. "But I love you none the less."

"I'm glad, otherwise this would be very awkward." I reached up to give him a gentle kiss. "I love you too."


	14. First kiss and first real one too

I don't really know when I first started to fall for Newt, or why. Teresa had always teased me as a kid about never showing anyone affection. It didn't bother me all that much until I noticed the boys around me talking about it in September each year.

"You guys will not believe what I did this summer guys!" Was Minho's greeting when we were thirteen. He hadn't grown much over the summer, and looked like a dork, but we all did at that age.

"Let me guess, won the American football champions." Newt teased.

"I made out with one of the cheerleaders, she's in grade 10 this year. Practically begged for me to go on a date." He said proudly.

"Took you long enough, I got that milestone over with when I was eleven." Alby replied. It was hard to picture Alby kissing anyone, he seemed far too mature for that.

"No way. Proof." Minho countered. While Alby took out his phone, most likely to show Alby a picture as proof, I slipped out of the room.

Newt wasn't getting there until the next afternoon because his plane got delayed, so I had the room to myself. It was the first night since sharing a room with him that he had been away. It didn't seem right with him away, the room half blank.

I wanted to leave the conversation before I had to get involved. I didn't have my first kiss yet, and did not want to admit to that anytime soon. I guess up until then I didn't get that it made any difference. The year before, up until the following winter this was all the boys talked about. I always left early, and Newt was soon to follow.

That Halloween I was in the woods with Teresa again. It was the last year we went out looking for spirits together. It was quiet, but peaceful. Her arms were covered even in the warmth of the evening.

"Something is on your mind." She said. "I know it's bothering you."

She was prompting me to tell her, but I speak. I knew what was bothering me, it was my friends. Always laughing and talking about how cute girls are, making jokes about who to date. I didn't get what the big deal is. I guess it was peer pressure that made me do what I told Teresa.

"Every one of the boys has had their first kiss by now. They always talk about how hot the girls are, but I can't relate to what they are saying."

"You're telling me, that you, the amazing soccer player, Tom, has not kissed a single girl." She playfully grinned and took a step forward.

My first instinct was to step back, but I remained still. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter, as thoughts whipped through my mine.

"Do you want to change that?" Her face only an inch from mine, everything was still. Even the wind paused in that moment to see what would happen.

"I want to fit in. I guess that means so." I whispered, not sure if I was making the right choice.

Teresa put her arms around my neck and lean in closer. Slowly she closed her eyes and pressed her lips hard against mine. I kissed back, eyes wide open.

There was no amazement, no special thing the boys had always talked about. Somehow this left me more in the dark than before.

Eventually Teresa pulled away. "Did you like that?" Her cheeks were slightly flushed.

"I guess… I don't really know." Her face fell at my words. I had hurt her which was far from what I wanted. It was a stupid idea to let her kiss me.

The bell rung, signalling curfew was in 30 minutes. "I-I need to go." Teresa hurried away.

Then I was alone in the trees alone and more confused then I had been before. I walked back to the dorm room in silence. Even when reaching the dorms and did not speak to anyone. I didn't see Teresa at all for the next two weeks.

It was around Christmas that year when I finally realized how much Newt meant to me. I didn't want to be without him for the two weeks of break. I didn't want any of my friends to leave but Newt was different. I couldn't understand why I was so jealous of everyone being around him.

"You okay Tommy?" Newt asked me as he was packing some things to bring home. He would be leaving the next day.

"Yeah. I'm fine, just thinking." I said casually. He looked over and smiled. He was so cute and funny and kind, and… I realized why I was so upset about him leaving. "And I don't want you to leave." I said it without thinking.

Newt stopped packing and sat down next to me on my bed. "I'll be back in two weeks. I'll miss you too." He didn't get it, it wasn't the same feelings.

I leaned closer to him resting my head on his shoulder. It was a common thing to do, but this felt different. It felt righter than before. His head fell onto mine.

Eventually Newt broke the peaceful silence. "I feel like there's something more to you missing me."

Fear ran through me and I looked him in the eyes. I couldn't find any hint of jokiness on his face. "I don't know what you mean."

"Really? Even with Minho teasing us about always being together. I hope you figured it out by now."

"Figured out what?" Newt was confusing me. I hated this moment of weakness and not knowing what would happen.

"I may as well give you a hint before I leave, but it has to do with the minor fact I have a major crush on my roommate." He was looking away from me, almost as if he were ashamed to admit that to me.

"Me?" I tried to hide my excitement, but the pitch of my voice gave me away.

He turned to face me, cheeks scarlet red. "Who else? I hope this doesn't make things weird." He looked to the floor again.

I didn't know what to think. I had only just realized that maybe I liked him too, but I had never liked a boy before. It felt better than the way Teresa made me feel on Halloween, and different from the rest of the boys I talked to. In the end I knew there was only one way to know for sure if I liked him.

I put my hand to his face, and slowly lifted it up to face me. I smiled, and Newt mimicked the gesture. He leaned a bit closer to me, and unlike with Teresa, I wanted to lean in more. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips onto his.

Suddenly what my friends had been saying about girls made sense, everything came together. When I looked back at Newt, he was smiling. We were both happy, and this moment had changed our lives.

"You're really cute, Tommy. By any chance are you single?" Newt asked knowing full well I had never dated anyone. He was the only person I admitted that to.

"I hope not after tonight." I laughed. From that day forward I wasn't single, I had Newt always by my side… apart from while he was away for Christmas in England.


	15. Chapter VIII

I didn't sleep well the next couple of nights. Nightmares of Newt alone in a dark room, sick and in pain, haunted me. Two different times that week I had woken up to Newt shaking me. I had been screaming as if I was being murdered. Those nights we pulled our blankets off the beds and slept on the floor, Newt wrapping his arms around me.

It was nearing November, and a chill came into the air. We awoke to frost covering the windows and the heating turn on high. Minho was just plain mad that the fields were too slippery to use.

"I'm telling you, it's not fair. They shouldn't close the fields up yet." Minho complained.

"You won't be saying that when you're on the ground with a broken bone." Alby pointed out, lightly punching Minho.

It was a Tuesday after classes just passing Halloween. Most of the glade was around enjoying some hot chocolate, or for Next, hot camellia tea. Newt and I sat on a table in the middle of the common room wrapped in a large blanket. There were more blankets scattering the place, but it was a chance for us to be close.

"I won't break anything, just you watch." Minho shouted. Most people were ignoring him at this point. "Pass me the ball, Thomas."

"Because that is a safe thing to do." Alby muttered.

I grabbed the soccer ball that was on the ground near me and tossed it to Minho. "Just don't hit me with it."

"Like I would do that. With Newt out for the season, I need someone who has a bit of talent on the team still."

"That and Newt needs someone to cheer for from the sidelines." Zart butted in. Most of the boys knew, or at least suspected Newt and I were _very_ close, but it still made both of us blush.

"Knock it off, Zart. Don't you have something better to do, like homework or feeding your ego." Newt responded.

Zart hurried off quickly after that. He muttered something about needing to help Ben with homework or something like that.

Like most nights, Frypan had made a wonderful meal for us that night, but I noticed that Newt appeared to be a little bit off during the meal.

"Hey, you alright?" I quietly asked him. Most of his food was still there.

"I'm not that hungry, Tommy." Was his reply. It wasn't like him to not eat much, but maybe he just didn't like Tacos.

Nothing was really all that different until later in the evening. Newt and I had already gone up to our room by this time. He was looking pale, and was swaying slightly.

"Okay, Newt. What is wrong? Tell me." I put my hand firmly on his shoulder to steady him.

"I'm not feeling all that well today. Maybe just the flu or something." He shivered. I pressed the back of my hand to his forehead, it was warm, but not burning.

I removed my hand and replaced it with the touch of my lips. "You don't feel hot, temperature wise at least."

He turned away from me. "I don't want you to get sick too."

"I'll be alright. Time to worry about you." I guided him towards his bed. It was still early, but I made Newt go to bed.

He was out as soon as he hit the pillow. I stayed up a while longer to deal with homework, than went to bed as well.

"Night Newt. Sweet dreams." I whispered.

I woke up in a cold sweat again that night. It wasn't a nightmare, but something was certainly off about it. I turned over to look at Newt, him just being there was calming enough. Only he wasn't there anymore.

The sheets were turned and twisted half falling off his bed, something even on the most rushed days of class he never did. The door open; the dim lighting of the hallway was visible. From my bed I could see that the room across from me, Minho and Alby's was open.

I jumped out of bed and into the hallway. No one else's doors were open. Echoing in the hallway was a faint heaving sound, like someone was gasping for breath. The light was on in the bathroom.

That was when it hit me that Newt had been ill the day before, and something must be wrong. I hurried down the hall, fast and quietly.

Newt was on the floor next to the toilet, breathing heavily. Bits of vomit were spattered on the floor. Alby was next to him, trying to comfort the poor boy as best he could. Minho was at the sink, he himself turning a bit green.

Minho was the first one to notice I was there, and came towards me. I dodged him and went straight to Alby and Newt. His skin was like paper, and his eyes sunken in.

"Tommy." Newt got out before a fit of coughs took over. "T-tommy. Le-leave." It was no more than a whisper, as he tried to push me away.

"I can't leave you." Tears came to my eyes. I wasn't going to leave him like this. I should have known the day before that he was sick.

Minho grabbed me from behind. "Thomas, leave him here with Alby."

"No!" I shouted, trying to reach for Newt, but Minho's grip was too strong.

"I love you, Tommy. Go." Newt forced out before reaching for the toilet and throwing up.

"He doesn't want you to see him like this. For him, come on."

Minho was able to finally get me up and out of the room. I refused to go back to sleep and hated the idea of spending the night alone again in my room. The idea of Newt going back to that dark room alone terrified me. What I had seen that night was worse.

I spent the rest of the night in Minho's room with the door shut and music up. Anything to block out the noise coming from down the hall as Newt suffered.

It was early morning when Alby came back into the room. He looked tired and upset.

"Is he okay? Where's Newt?" I rapid fired questions at him. Newt was the only thing in my mind and I needed to know that he was going to be okay.

"He was taken to hospital. He was throwing up for several hours, and it wasn't safe to keep him here. I think it's a little more complicated than the flu. The doctor said he should be fine with in a week." Alby said before I could ask anything more.

"I know you won't sleep tonight, but try. You can't help Newt if you end up sick too." Minho instructed.

"Why did he want me to leave?" The question burned through my mine like hot iron.

"He didn't want you to see him that sick, or make you sick as a result of staying. He wanted you to be there, he was crying out your name. As much as he anted you to hold him and tell him everything was alright, he didn't want you to go through that sickness too. He did it out of love." Alby curled up and slept well into the next day.

I thought back on it, realising that Alby was right. If it had been reversed I wouldn't want to give Newt any chance at getting sick. Still him telling me to leaved was a haunting scene engraved to my skull.


	16. The jokes we used to make

The winter when I was twelve, a terrible flu broke out in the city nearby our school. We weren't allowed to leave, but some kid got sick anyways. As soon as someone showed any signs of the fetal disease, they had to be sent to the hospital until it was over.

Several boys from the glade had to leave, but most came back a short while afterwards, a lot of false alarms. Newt was one of the boys that were sent away for two months.

Minho and I had math together that year, and only about half the class was there anymore. The flu season had already been going on for a month at this point.

"I'm starting to get worried, Minho. What if the others don't get better?" I was afraid. No one here really knew what a disease could do to them. I hadn't told anyone about my parents' deaths.

"They'll be alright. It's just to make sure the entire school doesn't get sick and keep us in class. It sucks we can't leave to play sports." Of course, that was the only down side Minho ever found to any problem.

"Well, half the soccer team is out, and so is the coach. I don't know how you plan to play a game with only seven people." I laughed. It wouldn't have been the first time Minho tried to play a game of soccer short-handed.

We headed out of the class to meet up with some of the gladers. Our next class had been cancelled due to how many people were out sick. Zart, Frypan and Alby were waiting for us outside the library doors. Not that we were actually planning on staying there for the time we had.

"Missing anyone else?" Minho asked as we approached the boys. I was certain Winston had said that morning he would meet us.

"Nope. This is it. Winston is down for the count now. Ran a fever period one today, and got sent to the hospital." Zart muttered. The two were often together, so I could see why he held a grave expression.

"How many are gone from our dorms?" I asked no one in particular, just hoping this wasn't a repeat of the town where I was born.

"I think six now. Pretty good, given most of the city is ill. I guess the school is good at keeping things out, just like its good at keeping us trapped in." Frypan said. He hadn't gotten many new foods to try and use recently because of how tight security was now. No student could get out unless they were sick.

"Hey everyone will be alright once the flu passes over. People get sick every year, this year its just worst than normal." Alby reassured everyone before we went looking for trouble. For the first time ever, I didn't believe Alby's calm composure.

Near the beginning of March, the students came back, well most of them at least. There was an announcement the day the kids could start coming back.

"Thank you, everyone, who was patient during the last few months, and welcome back to our students that fell ill. Unfortunately, we have lost some of our classmates and teachers. There will be a mandatory service to attend on Thursday."

Newt was on of the last ones to come back, and I cried the moment I saw him. He had survived the disease. The glade did lose James, a boy that was a grade younger than Minho, Newt and me. He was welcomed the after I was. Now, I would never know who he was.

Newt kept on telling me off the rest of the week because I wouldn't leave him alone. In retrospect, I was being a little too protective, but I was so glad I hadn't lost him like I had lost my parents when I was an infant.

"Tommy, you seriously need to let me do my homework. I promise that I'm alright now." Newt said for the third time that evening.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" I cut myself off. No one apart from Teresa knew anything about my parents. Newt never had to deal with anything like that. He had a perfectly happy family, with his parents and Lizzie.

"What's wrong?" He put his textbook down and came to sit next to me. "Hey, Tommy. It's alright."

Tears started to leak down my cheeks as he spoke. "Newt, remember all that stuff I told you guys about my parents. How they were supportive of me, but busy a lot?" I stumbled on my words. Those were the lies I said every time someone would mention family. The glade had real families, unlike me.

"What about it?" His voice was soft.

I took a deep breath of air. "I don't actually have parents."

Newt pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry. What happened. Sorry, that's kinda rude."

"No, it's alright. I don't know exactly wat it was, but they died when I was less than a year old, some type of sickness went through the town I was born. Most people didn't make it. I didn't want you to be a repeat." I was full on crying by then.

Newt pulled my face in the direction of his. "Look at me. I'm here, I'm not going to leave you anytime soon." He smiled.

"If I can pull through this with a weak immune system anything is possible." He paused.

"What?" This was the first time I had heard anything about a weak immune system from him ever. "I want an explanation right now."

"Calm down. I've always had a weaker immune system than most people, genetic thing I think. Point being I've survived nearly thirteen years like this. I'm going to survive a lot more than that. You're stuck with me for a long time to come, Tommy." He was laughing now as if being with him forever was a punishment to me.

"Good, now don't end up getting yourself hurt either. I would like to keep you mostly in one piece until grad." I teased.

"Oh, don't worry. Minho would kill me if I got hurt to the point where I couldn't play sports anymore." He joked.

Back then we were both so naïve and innocent still. Our jokes as empty as our binders the last day of classes. How injuries and sickness was nothing to fear and only a small inconvenience. I wish I could still be that kid laughing at our jokes. Now they are the reality Newt faces.


	17. Chapter IX

Newt had missed a full week of school, and it was now November. Halloween had passed and winter spirits were appearing all around us. That week had been long, and I hardly slept in my dorm room alone. Minho would spend the night there purely so I didn't wake everyone around us up.

Newt was pale when he came back, and his hair was cut short. The last time it had been like that was at least four years before. There were purple crescents stamped onto the bottom of his eyes. He was thin and had wiring arms with dark veins. At first, I thought he was dead, or not far off of it at least.

Yet even in this deathly image, he smiled at me like he had won soccer championships again. He hobbled over to me, somehow still not healed from the accident in the summer. Newt pulled me into a tight hug, burying his head into my shoulder.

"Missed you, Tommy." He said quietly so only I could hear.

"Glad you're feeling better." I smiled. Newt was back, and he was going to get better. Everything was alright again.

"I'm glad too." He laughed. The sound of his voice filled the common room.

Most of the boys, mainly the older ones came up to welcome Newt back to the glade. I even saw Chuck roaming around that day to talk to Newt.

Since Newt was being surrounded by everyone, Minho and I went to sneak some food from Frypan.

"What are you making today, Frypan?" Minho asked when he walked into the kitchen shortly after I did.

"Pizza. Something that no one will kill each other over. And Newt's favourite. Good to see he's back for a while." Frypan shrugged. Minho shot him a hard glare for that comment, but whatever the reason was, was beyond me.

"Yeah. Pretty nasty flu this time. Good thing it didn't spread to anyone else." I said. It was a bit odd that no one else had gotten sick, but maybe it was something like a food he ate.

Frypan had a confused expression on his face. He was about to say something, but Minho had cut him off. "Hey, coach wanted to see us about something. I forgot to tell you earlier."

Minho practically forced me out of the kitchen. We went over to the school to go talk to the soccer coach. It wasn't anything important, just a small practice change, so I don't know why Minho couldn't have just told me that himself. He was acting really weird today.

Eventually, I was able to get him to go back to the glade for the night. He seemed rather tense during the walk, but I was through questioning him for a while.

I didn't really want to be around everyone, so I just went up to my room. I knew Newt would be up soon because he couldn't handle people much more than I could. Therefore, it was no surprise that he opened the door half an hour later.

"All done with being famous for a bit?" I teased him. The poor kid hated attention, excluding mine for some reason.

"That depends want an autograph?" He kissed me lightly on the forehead.

"I think a kiss is much better. How are you feeling?" I asked after a laughing fit.

"Pretty good. I mean given the fact I was in the hospital this morning. Much better now that I get to be with you." He planted another kiss on my forehead.

"Good. I was going crazy not having you here. Please don't leave me again." I over exaggerated the begging.

"Hey, I was wondering, would you like to leave school grounds Saturday and go to the mall. Just the two of us. We haven't had one of those days in a while." He asked. For some reason, there was sadness in the way he had said it.

I pulled him into a hug. "Of course, I would, Newt. Just we need permission to leave school grounds."

"Leave that to me." And I put all my trust into him.

Saturday was the first time in a while that I actually wanted to get up early. Newt had confirmed permission for the two of us to leave for the day. Naturally, he was already up and dress by the time I woke up and got out of bed.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty." Newt smiled sipping on some tea.

"I thought Sleeping Beauty woke up to a kiss," I asked with a pout on my face.

Newt came over and gave me a quick peck on the lips before throwing a pillow at my face. "Get up."

"Yeah, I'm on it," I grumbled. As fun as the day was going to be, I still wasn't a morning person. Ever.

When Newt and I went down to the common room, I wasn't surprised to see that it had been completely abandoned. No one was a morning person around here, apart from Newt. It was weird to see the room, like actually see it. Usually, the place was crowded with people and everyone garbage.

"Are you ready to go, Tommy?" Newt asked, grabbing our jackets. He was still pale, I couldn't tell if it was any better than from when he had gotten back from the hospital. I really hoped that he was getting more colour in his cheeks again.

"Yeah." We left the school grounds for the first time since September. I rarely left the school any time of the year. Since I had no family or friends outside of the school, I really had no reason to leave. The only times I was ever outside school grounds was for sports, but they put us in windowless buses to get us there.

Newt and I enjoyed an entire day together, just the two of us hanging out like real people. For the first time, we were like normal teenagers in love. There were a few ugly looks because we are both boys, but it hardly bothered us.

We had never been on anything near a date before, and I had never really gotten to live like a teenager before. I only ever knew the school and the orphanage.

Once we got back to our dorms, Newt asked, "Did you enjoy today?"

"Yeah. It was great to go on a real date with you finally. I wish we could do this again. Promise we can?" I wanted more than anything at that moment to relive the day again with Newt, pretend nothing was wrong with us, and who we were.

"Sure. We can do this again. I'm really glad you enjoyed the day."

"Thank you so much Newt."

After everything that had happened this year, it was good to finally have some peace, a break from everything. Nothing could make this moment horrible.

Everything was finally going well, and it will stay that way for a long, long time to come.


	18. The Town by School

**Hi Everyone. I hope you've been enjoying this fanfiction so far. Now that summer break has begun, I will be away from the internet for off and on until August 31st. Enjoy your holidays and have a fun time. Enjoy this chapter.**

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There wasn't much outside our school. We were fairly excluded from most of the world, but I didn't mind so much, because no one ever left here. I only ever left for sports activities, apart from one year.

Teresa and I went back to the orphanage in November of our first year of going to school, back when we were still close and friends. They wanted to run some tests on us compared to some of the other kids that hadn't gone to our school and stayed there. I think Rachel and Aris were part of that too.

We got to leave the school normally. It was a desert wasteland outside. There was nothing special to look at or see.

"Why do we need to go back again, Teresa?" I had asked several times. I had hated every moment in the orphanage and did not want to go back.

"We belong there, Tom. That's where we grew up and they need to make sure this school us actually helping us. Otherwise, we are stuck in the orphanage forever. I don't think you want that."

Even though I had only known the glade for a short time by then, I didn't want to leave them. Teresa had had a harder time making friends, but even she did not want to go back.

"How long will we be gone for?" How long would I be away from Newt and Minho?

"A week or so. We are getting all our lessons sent to us." We walked hand in hand down the dirt road.

It was a long trip, for some reason we had been allowed alone, but I guess they knew where we were going like they could track us somehow. Eventually, we stumbled our way to the town if you could even call it that.

It was a small place, mostly home to people that worked for the same company that owned our school, they never would tell us who founded the school. There weren't many kids around. I found out later that this was the town we were sent to for tests, and the real town was even further away.

"I really don't like this place." I walked about half a stride behind her, afraid that someone like the doctors at our school would jump out and scare us.

"Me either, but we are only here for one night. Tomorrow morning, we will be back where we grew up. And we will be together." Teresa had always been braver than me.

We finally got to the right building. It scared me more than most of the tall metal places we had passed. This was looked like a prison, somewhere I wanted to spend no amount of time, much less a night.

"You must be Tom and Teresa." The man at the desk said when we entered.

We nodded. I decided to nickname him Ratman when he didn't introduce himself. He brought us up a few flights of stairs to another room, no windows, dim lighting.

"The doctors that will be with you all week will be up shortly." He left us in the room, door closed, alone.

Teresa and I sat down on the two colourful chairs, clearly meant for young children. I was nervous to meet these people, but doctors had always made me a bit nervous.

"Don't worry they work hurt us," Teresa reassured me. Her voice was calming and gentle. I was more at ease when she spoke. And then the doctors came in.

There were a man and a woman, I assumed one for each of us. "Nice to meet you two. We will be running some tests all week in order to see how you have been performing since you started school."

We did end up going back to the orphanage the following morning, and we got to see the real town. It was the largest place I had ever been but was small in the grand scheme of things. Unfortunately, I never got to explore it.

During the next year, Teresa and I had tried to be allowed to leave even for one day to go see the town again, but we never got permission. It was near impossible to do without parents.

Back at the orphanage not much had changed in the last few months. One or two of the little ones had been adopted, and three had turned eighteen since we had left. Our beds were empty, waiting for us to come back.

The doctors stayed with us every day and watched us. In the evenings we had to write tests and prove that we were smart, just like before getting to go to the school.

"We wanted to see how you perform compare to your previous testing in the same environment." Was the reasoning they had given us every time we complained. A few times they had even needed to completely separate us.

"I hate being here. I want to go back to the school again!" I complained to Teresa one night. "I wish we could go see that town again."

"They should have just not brought us there. It would have been better if we had never seen it, to begin with."

The last day we had to do a physical exam I had no idea why this had anything to do with how well we could learn. This hadn't happened originally when we were tested to go to this school.

"Why do we need to do this? What does this have to do with what I know?" I asked the doctor.

"We want to help people, and you happen to be very gifted and can help others. Some people have a bad thing in their mind that will make them sick and they won't get better." He replied, sticking another needle into my arm.

I thought about my parents. Was that what had happened to them? Did they die because of a sickness that I can't get now? I thought about Teresa and prayed that she couldn't get it either. It must have just been something in my area of course because that was why it had to be run in the place I grew up.

I remembered thinking this and not worrying about my other friends from other places. They couldn't have this problem everywhere, Right? As I grew up I realized I couldn't have been more wrong.


End file.
